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Buying a house sucks

Here is what I have learned all 3 times I've tried to buy a house in NJ -
 (I'll explain why 3 times later) - the Realtors here are LAZY.

You give them a list of requirements of what you are looking for and they give you a blanket listing of all houses available anywhere NEAR your price range without filtering anything out.

Thanks to the INTERNET  - I can do that myself Realtor - what I want from you is for you to narrow down the field and show me what I WANT  - not all that is available. I also want from you some information on what the deal is with the houses - what's the back story - have you walked through , etc...

The listings of these properties are LAME. The majority literally have 1 picture on any website you go to and it's the front of the house... seriously?

If there are pictures - they are fuzzy, dark or taken at weird angles that make no sense. I've even seen some where they post pictures of the driveway covered in snow and I swear there was one that showed a flooded driveway. 

This is our 4th attempt at buying a house.

Number 1 - was before we had Katie when we were planning to move to Naugy - we worked with an AMAZING realtor (Jennifer Merrill in Naugatuck, CT) who helped us out immsensely (since we were doing this from out of state) answered our questions, did her homework, etc...

She set us up to think that all realtors were like her and boy were we wrong! She is AMAZING - all other realtors are just crap in comparison - particularly in Jersey.

We were all ready to go and then Dave got a promotion so we bagged the whole idea and ended up moving closer to his job in New Jersey instead.


Number 2 was last year. 

It was last year right before I started working again - we decided to casually browse places and found a place we liked. We felt the pressure of the market around here in North NJ and rushed into an offer - had the inspection done and then found out that all of the bones of the house were crap. Sewer, roof, garage, foundation shifting, chimney shifting  - everything you can imagine - so we ended up walking away because it was just too overwhelming!

Our mistakes with that house were that we used the realtor from the open house so it was a dual agent thing. When we got the awful inspection report - she did nothing. It was awful. Lesson learned on our part - dual agents don't work. 

Number 3 has it's own blog post because it's a foreclosure  - buying foreclosures is a horrible, horrible process... BAAH

Number 4 is a house we found that meets ALMOST all our must haves. It even has an extra room that is going to be my office which I am SUPER stoked about! There are 2 living spaces (one will be a family room for toys, etc... with a fireplace and the other will be the living room with the tv)

The kids will have their own full bath (a totally outdated pepto bismol pink thing) and we will have our own as well.

The only downside to this house is the teeny tiny kitchen.  It's in the town I love with GREAT SCHOOLS for the kids so we're super excited about it.

Because the kitchen is so small AND the bathrooms are outdated - it means we will have to do some work which we were hoping to avoid - but given the local market - we really can't avoid it and we will just replace tile, paint, etc... we aren't going to re-arrange those rooms. The kitchen will take a lot of money because there is no dishwasher. I have decided I can't live without one - so that will be the first project - finding a place for it and getting the plumbing and electric for it. We plan to keep the cabinets - but paint them and change out hardware. We are also talking about knocking down this dumb wall that is between our tiny kitchen and our decent size dining room.

We are not in attorney review - which is normally an easy process - BUT it's an estate sale - so some of the conditions they are coming back with are kind of rigid - so we have to think about that as we move forward. But I am hopeful that it will be fine and inspections will be fine - and renovations will be fun and everyone will be happy...

Cause this lady needs a serious win. It's been a rough few weeks  - I've been sick for WEEKS and feeling very down and sad over bad news coming from every direction - so every night before bed I tell my husband - we're gonna get a win soon - I know it... and I do!

Oh, and my realtor - has been MIA - no follow up or questions or how is it going or ANYTHING. I find that annoying. She stands to make a lot of money off of this for doing very little work so it would be nice if she stepped it up a notch. I mean seriously - I should be a realtor - I would take EVERYONE'S clients because I would do all the stuff for people that I wish these people had done for me so that I was happy with the home buying process...

Oh, and my lawyer - yeah he MAILED me the contract revisions the seller sent back to us - with no warning or phone call - wasting DAYS we could have been reviewing, etc.. so I had to ask him to fax me the updates so we could review and move on.. Don't people understand that when you are buying a house you don't want to sit around and WAIT?

ugh

Time Off

I work from home 4 days a week doing something totally unlike anything I've ever done before and I love it. I go to the office one day a week because it's an hour away(without traffic) and just too far for commuting to more than that.

Because I work from home and before I am doing something new - I work ALL THE TIME. There is always something to research, test, try, learn so I'm on the computer before 9 - until the kids walk in the door and most days again after they are in bed.

I'm a work-a-holic - I love working. I love challenges and this job has been one of the greatest challenges of my life because it's forcing me to think differently and learn new skills and grow. 

When Sandy hit  we lost power for a week and had to run off to CT to stay with my parents who had power. Every second I had with power I was trying to make up for time I couldn't work because we had lost power at home and I kept having to tell my kids I couldn't play, look, see, talk, etc... because I had to work. But it's nothing new-they hear it all the time anyway.

So - I decided to make a drastic change to my whole working mom plan. I asked my boss if I could  go down to 4 days a week. It's going to be expensive because taking them out for 1 day a week at their preschool isn't going to totally offset the money we're losing from me taking a day off - but I know it will be worth it. They are only little once. They are playing together and talking to each other and growing and soon enough they will be in school full time and I can work full time again and not worry so much about missing things and being unavailable to them.

Now I'm not really sure how this is going to work because some of the projects I work on require me to be available at weird times but my boss is amazing and is trying to make it so that my day off is really going to be a full day off. (That's the whole point right) (oh and PS - my boss doesn't use social media in any shape or form - so this is not a suck up post)

I'm not sure what that will mean for the 4 days I am working as sometimes my project load is overwhelming to say the least - but I will just have to learn how to pace myself and optimize my time. I'm also hoping that having an extra day at home will help me get stuff done around the house because it's a myth to think that when you work at home you get to do other stuff all day - there are LOTS of days when I don't even take a break for lunch until 2 - which just makes all the laundry piling up, dishes to do, etc... that much more daunting and stressful because I have to be here knowing it needs to get done and that I can't do anything about it.

I am hoping staying home doesn't mess the kids up too much. They really like school and I know I am no match for their friends in terms of entertainment - but I am up for the task and I will try.


So far - it's been 2 weeks of my new 4 day a week schedule and it's been nice. We do activities together - separate - get errands done and in general I just feel more relaxed.  The only downside is figuring out how to manage when my Friday at work is so busy that I can't wait to tackle and finish the latest project - but then not being able to get to it until Tuesday and having to get back on the same train of thought - but it's a work in progress and the kids are happy to be together for a whole extra day - so so far so good. Don't get me wrong - it's hard as hell  even just for one day - but it's TOTALLY worth it:)

I'd rather change a poopy diaper than get my 4 year old dressed in the morning

Let me set the scene:

We are sitting downstairs with our 2 year old and we hear the first rumblings over the monitor from our almost 4 year old who is starting to wake up.

Katie doesn't wake up and come out of her room - our princess requires an audience to wake up which is not always bad as she has NEVER gotten out of her room in her 4 years of life on her own - she always waits for us - so it could be worse.

Anyway - we start to hear the rumblings of Miss Katie and in a flash my husband and I both have our fingers on our noses which is our decade old sign for "NOT IT"

The loser of this game sulks off to the kitchen to poor themselves another cup o f coffee while the winner playfully suggests they might need to pack a snack for the journey.

And so begins the 4 day a week routine of trying to get her up and dressed so we can rush through breakfast and go to school.

This used to be no big deal - but lately our little fashionista has upped her game. In the beginning we would suggest the things that we knew she loved to wear to which her response would be I DON'T LIKE THAT. (rookie mistake on our part)

Then it became an argument about wanting to wear her pj's to school - to which we would answer that she can't do that because she wore them all night and they are for bed - without a heartbeat of hesitation her response would be  "but we can pick other pjs from the drawer that I didn't wear all night and you can wash them when we're done."

Anything we suggest is like we're asking her to wear the pink bunny costume from A Christmas Story.

So we go back and forth - negotiate - compromise - and then end up letting her wear whatever ridiculous outfit we can compromise on as long as it's weather appropriate.

And so continues the joys of parenting that no one tells you about.

Today she ended up in hello kitty tights, with 2 skirts on (one was see through so I had to convince her to wear the other one under it so you couldn't see her tights), a flowery shirt - a blue headband and princess crocs.

She scarfed down her cereal and was out the door by 8:10.

Success!

Products we love

Go- Gurt - how did I go 3 years without ever buying go-gurt?

My kids LOVE yogurt - so you take these tubey yogurt things - freeze them and then pop them out and take them with you as a quick lunch or snack as they defrost perfectly when you need them. Word of caution - these can be dangerous once frozen - like if you open the freezer and one flies out at you - they hurt - like step on little people in the middle of the night hurt - only they usually hit your head which is WAY more dangerous - so put them somewhere they can't do that.

Stonyfield makes them too for you organic moms and dads.

They are AWESOME for day trips for Katie - as no utensils required.

However, Ben needs assistance, otherwise he will just squeeze the whole thing out which is gross. But we pack them in a lunch box with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and raisins and have instant lunch for the zoo, sesame or long car rides. We even did this the other day and brought them to Chipotle as my kids will only eat guacamole from there -so we got to chow down on yummy Chipotle goodness and they ate in peace:)

Name stickers from Christmas Tree Shop - my MIL got us some for christmas or something and I had saved them and now use them for all their snacks, drinks for school. Saves me from writing their names on - and if you try to use a Sharpie on anything that is remotely wet, or cold - you know it doesn't work - so works perfectly for aforementioned go-gurts!!! And SUPER cheap! Plus - you can have your kids put the stickers on their snacks for you in like an assembly line to get everything ready for the week! I'm all about saving time and projects for the kids.

Thomas the Train Magazine - I ordered this off of one of my coupon blog sites that had it for half off. I think it was 14 bucks for the year -
It is CHOCK full of craft ideas, word puzzles, tracing, counting games, and stories and it's just awesome to see how excited Katie gets to get her own mail and then get to start reading/browsing through.

My DVD players in the car. We have a double DVD player that attaches to the seats - 9 inch screens (my in-laws spoil us) We bought the protection plan on them when we first got them and have had to return them twice for replacements - which we got free. Best purchase ever. Both kids can watch the same thing or each watch their own (Toy Story on one side and Strawberry Shortcake on the other these days)


Look and Find books - kind of like Where's Waldo for kids - only they have all their favorite characters - thus making them WAY cooler than Where's Waldo.


My basket of toys that I keep in the car at all times. This way we have things to keep them occupied on short or long trips. If we are driving far - I pack extra stuff - but for day to day trips - I always have something I can bring wherever we are going to try to keep them happy. Books, dolls, little people, all small little things they can carry around. It's great for restaurants too!!

Well, that's it for now. Just wanted to post about some of the stuff I currently love! These days we are super busy so it's hard for me to blog - but thanks for reading. If you have ideas of stuff you'd like to read about or ideas for a guest post - let me know!

Happy Wednesday!

Bad Friend

So - having 2 kids and working full time makes it almost impossible for me to talk to anyone besides my husband and sometimes I go days between even speaking to him and we are in the same house!

When I stayed home with the kids - I had oodles of time to go shopping, talk on the phone, clean up, etc... I would take advantage of naptimes and nighttime when my husband came home because I didn't feel any guilt leaving them alone for a little while because I was with them all the time.

Now that I work all day and only see them at night - I feel horrible any time I leave them during this precious time together. They are in daycare/preschool all day long - so I feel like I have to be home with them every single night.

I skip the classes that I joined my particular gym for, I skip book club, (which only meets one night a month) I NEVER talk on the phone because if they are awake - the second I pick up - they need me and make it a painful conversation for everyone involved and if they are asleep I am getting things ready for the next day and sitting down to de-stress after a crazy day and most days all I want is to sit on my couch with whatever project I'm working on (HUGE de-stresser for me at the moment) and watch tv on DVR.

This is where I am failing.

I need to find a way to make time for other people. I need to pick up the phone more. (I'm totally a facebook communication junkie and although it's great - it is NO replacement for actual conversations and I forget this all the time.

My excuse to myself in the past has always been that my friends are far away and busy and don't have time for me either - which I'm sure is true - but we need to be able to find time for each other.

I also need to find some local friends that I can count on. Now that we have decided that New Jersey is not so temporary - I am branching out and meeting moms from Katie's school, hosting play dates (the kids get to play and are entertained and I get to talk to another human without feeling guilty for leaving them with someone else - it's a total win.win)

I also started using Meetup.com to see what kind of local groups there are. I found a local stitch and bitch group and actually forced myself to go to a meet up this Saturday at a Panera close by. It was AWESOME - some older ladies, some younger girls - all who knit/crochet - all who have amazing stories and all who I can't WAIT to get to see again during the next meeting. And double bonus is that since I taught myself to knit/crochet - I get to get tips and expertise from "real knitters" to make me better.

So - I am making this vow to myself - similar to the vow I made my kids about being more present - which is working wonders by the way - I will make time for old/new/future friends. Cause I am lonely as hell here in NJ and now that we have decided it's not just a layover - I'm ready to commit and find a social network. And when we inevitably leave the area - I will just make sure to make time for these people to continue these friendships long distance - cause with real friends - distance doesn't matter. So - here is my personal ad - if it were safe to do such a thing nowadays hahaha.

Happily married, full time working (career type work) mother of 2 looking for non crazy - non weird female friends in the area. Interested in movies, music, all kinds of arts and crafts, food, wine, photography and more. Not looking for competitive moms, partiers or people who aren't into kids. (I have 2 - so it's kind of a package deal) Totally down for shopping, eating out, eating in, play dates, getting together to watch tv shows, book discussions, and the like.  The closer you live to me the better - as I kind of have a thing about distance and I suck at keeping relationships going from far away. I have jumped on the texting bandwagon finally - so can be reached there - or through FB - but I suck at writing long emails. (after working all day - extended time on the computer at night is tough for me - this blog posting is like, 2 months overdue for that reason)

Please be ready and willing to laugh, share stories, and not take yourself too seriously as it's all about de-stressing and having fun. Bonus points if you are a good cook that can give me tips on cooking better for my family while at the same time NOT judging our eating habits;)

All applicants welcome.

Working Rehab

So... I'm a little over a week into my new schedule and so far it's GREAT.
 The kids are happy, I'm happy, things are getting done, we are eating home cooked meals more  and my work is actually a little more organized because I have taken to scheduling my days better.

I have gotten to the gym more consistently in the last week than the whole month before that  - and that's great. My thyroid has been winning the morning wake up battle so I haven't been able to wake up before the kids like I wanted to - but I'm also CRAZY tired at the end of the day cause I am literally going non-stop from wake up until bedtime  - so I need some more adjustment time I think.


All in all, my new outlook and rules are working amazingly. Katie and I are back on track and she seems REALLY happy with the changes and with how much we have been playing.

I have been crafting up a storm too. I found Bubble Puppy templates on Nickjr.com and went CRAZY. Ben LOVES That show and there are no dolls or merchandise anywhere. I made the 2 templates they have online (one for each kid) then made Mr. Grouper from my own template and am working on creating a generic bubble guppy template that will work for all the other characters with a few minor changes.

I also made Katie a crocheted Tiara and Rapunzle Braid as that is her favorite new princess even though she won't watch the movie.

We successfully made a menu together for her restaurant and play that almost every day now.

Life is good again. The kids are healthy - we're healthy and we live in a happy house again - not a stressed out too much work to do house:) Here's to the rest of the summer!